LONG PIGS

LONG PIGS

HANK

WARNING: The movie reviewed in this instalment is not our usual foodie type movie. This movie is in fact pretty fucking stomach turning

Long Pig: culinary term for the human corpse. Framed by commentary from a talk radio DJ, Long Pigs is presented as a "This is the actual footage" documentary. After quickly introducing the films cannibalistic subject Anthony McAlister. The action starts quickly. Interviews with police, psychologists and even the family of victims are interwoven with Anthony’s exploits.

The novice filmmakers follow McAlister on a hunt or more accurately a trip to the market. As they drive in the red light district, Anthony points out which body type will yield the most successful dishes. After dismissing prostitutes who appear to be to stringy or lean, a plump healthy looking women is hired. Things are light and quite funny, then boom, dead hooker.

I'm often torn by this kind of movie. Should I be laughing or disgusted, entertained or frightened. Frankly, watching Long Pigs I felt all these emotions. Even more weirdly I found my self judging McAlister's culinary and butchering skills. When harming children enters the plot the horror becomes instantly more apparent and the joke isn't funny anymore.

Like all good fiends McAlister wins the viewer back. With a goofy inept charisma Anthony leads the documentarians through his trials and tribulations. A new years eve climax with Abba playing in the background seems quite fitting.

Like eating, viewing movies should provide more than mere sustenance. In that respect Long Pigs delivers. Funny, thought-provoking and brutal this film is anything but bland. Where should the line be drawn for acceptable cuisine? While I eat most animals could I dine on dog or dolphin. McAlister thinks nothing of chowing down on prostitute or cook, children though, cause more trouble than they are worth.

For a low budget film the acting was easily believable and the special effects totally convincing. Well paced, more social commentary than horror, wrapped in the butcher paper of an interesting plot . I recommend this film...Chow down on Long Pigs.

THE RESTAURANT

JENNA

Long Pigs is a horror movie, and I know what you all are thinking, that this has nothing to do with the service industry. Well, I know, I know, I've heard enough of it from Hank, and all I can say is that I LOVE horror movies and this one is loosely based on food and drink, so you'll just have to indulge me, I may never get another chance.

(I actually just watched the movie with the commentary, and the filmmakers are Industry, so this review applies...now, I think they need to make a restaurant movie)

The basic premise of this flick (or Mockumentary): two independent documentary filmmakers follow their seemingly average subject, Anthony McAlister through the motions of his daily life, Anthony happens to be a cannibal. He is an absolute sociopath, in that he does horrible things, feels no remorse, and yet you sort of like him, you can't help it. He commits these crimes with the sort of mentality that ignorance is bliss. He doesn't feel wrong in what he is doing, it is simply the food chain at work (he has a great worm and fish analogy to explain his reasoning). Regardless of the victim, he is unbiased as to the sex, age or nationality, he only sees meat...food.

I should warn you that this movie is pretty graphic and gruesome. The butchery is especially realistic, and it has great gore without going over the top. Simply said: there is no gore just for the sake of gore, it all has a purpose, making it all the more disturbing (and an excellent anus scene). Watching Anthony nonchalantly eating the meat of his victims is also pretty hard to watch, (and it makes me wonder how hard it was for XXXXXX, as an actor to chow down, even though he wasn't actually eating human meat, I would think that the thought of it was still probably difficult. I know I had a hard time eating meat for the next day or two)

As with any movie, the attention to detail are what will make or break a story and I will say that the cooking techniques are all really accurate, from dusting the cubed meat with flour and browning it in the stew to braising and then grilling the ribs. There is also a comment of someone tasting like curry, and I had to imagine that I would probably taste like red wine, I've been marinating for years. They also interview a police officer, a psychiatrist, and they listen in on a radio talk show to help tell the story. The filmmakers have taken the proper steps to maintain the accuracy and the realism is quite real.

As a fan of all those Cold Case and serial killer TV shows and a lover of the Food Network, call me crazy, but this movie was right up my alley. I loved this movie and I love that it was Canadian, too. I would recommend it to any lover of the genre, but I don't recommend eating while you’re watching...

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